I had a singularly weird experience today. A girl I’ve talked to once told someone that I was dating a sophomore at my school. I’m a senior at an all girl’s Catholic highschool. It ruffled my feathers a bit. As a cis pan girl who happens to be co-president of the school GSA (I’m sorry, “Club for LGBTQIA allies”) I’m not offended that people think I’m a lesbian. First of all, it’s not an insult, second of all, they are partially right. My problem is that this girl A, who I don’t even know, felt the need to tell girl B something totally false about me. Tbh, I wish I was dating someone, but my issue with this whole situation is why gossip about me? I am literally the most boring and unassuming person. I’ve never really had this happen to me before and it is a little surreal. This also kind of was a shock to the system because I’m not exactly “out” at school. It’s not that I hide it, but since I’m pan, I’m also attracted to cis dudes, so I “pass” for straight and no one has really probed further. If they ask, I tell them, but I don’t advertise my sexual orientation. Can people see the “gay” on my face? Hmm…. things to ponder… the point of this post is that being gossiped about is a very very strange experience and no matter what, you just have to chug on forward with kindness and compassion. I literally can’t stress how weird this is.
Men want what they want.
So much of our culture caters to giving men what they want. A high school student invites model Kate Upton to attend his prom, and he’s congratulated for his audacity. A male fan at a Beyoncé concert reaches up to the stage to slap her ass because her ass is there, her ass is magnificent, and he wants to feel it. The science fiction fandom community is once again having a heated discussion, across the Internet, about the ongoing problem of sexual harassment at conventions — countless women are telling all manner of stories about how, without their consent, they are groped, ogled, lured into hotel rooms under false pretenses, physically lifted off the ground, and more.
But men want what they want. We should all lighten up.
It’s hard not to feel humorless as a woman and a feminist, to recognize misogyny in so many forms, some great and some small, and know you’re not imagining things. It’s hard to be told to lighten up because if you lighten up any more, you’re going to float the fuck away. The problem is not that one of these things is happening, it’s that they are all happening, concurrently and constantly.
These are just songs. They are just jokes. They are just movies. It’s just a hug. They’re just breasts. Smile, you’re beautiful. Can’t a man pay you a compliment? In truth, this is all a symptom of a much more virulent cultural sickness — one where women exist to satisfy the whims of men, one where a woman’s worth is consistently diminished or entirely ignored.”
did anyone realize that california laws went into effect today that allows trans* youth to pick which bathroom and sports team they feel comfortable with in school
i think that’s the bee’s knees